Hello Exceeders 💜
There has been some roots that needed to be plucked in order for my growth to continue. I have felt so stagnant lately, its been something that has tried to take me backwards. God told me to be transparent in these blogs so being honest, I went through another depression recently this year. It didn’t have anything to do with the pandemic, it wasn’t because I didn’t know and remember the promises of God, it wasn’t even because I didn’t have the spiritual food available and in front of me often. It was simply because I felt like I was qualified enough to say what I could and couldn’t do. What I was worthy and not worthy to have. I was sitting there one day and I heard the Holy Spirit say “You’re not qualified to say what you CAN’T do when only I know everything you’re called to do.” I couldn’t do anything but repent at that point lol I was stuck in a moment of “you’ve been here too long”. He had to check me REAL QUICK because I was in the mindset of hopelessness when I serve a God that is the God of Hope. Romans 15:13 says “Now the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” Abound means to have or possess in great quantity. A mindset of hopelessness can’t exist in a vessel that is supposed to be abound with hope…don’t stay there too long.
I have been at God’s feet trying get some clarity on some things. I have been trying to pluck what needs to be plucked and sow what needs to be sown. I have had conversations recently that led straight to a root that DEFINITELY needed to be plucked that directly led to the Holy Spirit having to get me all the way together. I am too hard on myself. Nothing is ever enough, even me. I was going from night season to night season in my mind when really I just wasn’t taking time to celebrate my wins. I grew up always striving for more, where there was always more to be done. The expectation was its always something better that could be achieved. I adapted the wrong mindset of a Spirit of Excellence. I wasn’t saying it with my mouth because I’m wise enough to know that only Jesus is perfect, but I was struggling with being human. If I made ONE mistake, took too long to get it, took too long to hear God’s voice, didn’t hear God’s voice at all, I was an instant failure. The Holy Spirit was like nah baby girl, you’re not qualified to make that decision, to think that thought, to change what I have for you.
I have been trying to embrace all of me while leaving room for the me that I haven’t become yet. One day at time. Leaving room for not knowing. Leaving room for not doing it right the first time. Leaving room for needing God. Operating in a spirit of excellence without forgetting that if God called me to it, He will prepare me for it and His word will not return to Him void. I can’t speak for anybody else but I have literally tried to talk myself out of a blessing, talk myself out of my gifts. I would find myself rationalizing why I wasn’t good at something that I felt like God told me to do. I must have heard Him wrong, I must not be doing it right. It wasn’t until this week when I finally sat down with God and really got to the root. I was talking to my sister and she said you need to DENOUNCE that spirit. You don’t just need to bind that, its time to demolish that! I just think too much. Everything is a thought and sometimes that is a faith destroyer. If I could help anybody like me, combat your constant need to THINK with the RIGHT mindset. Combat your facts with the TRUTH. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee! Isaiah 26:3
Be encouraged that you’re not qualified enough to cancel what God said about you before you were formed in your mother’s belly. Be encouraged that God made you who you are long before you decided who you weren’t. Yesterday at church it seemed like I was having a breakdown but I had a BREAKTHROUGH! Its time to GROW! Seek God on what to sow and what to pluck so your harvest doesn’t have a delay at your hand.