Hello Exceeders 💜
I was writing a little bit of this and went to bible study last night and my Pastor was confirming EVERYTHING I heard in my spirit to write so this is right on time.
I have been finding out a lot of things about myself in the last year but definitely in the last few weeks. Things I have been praying for constantly to be revealed to me. It got to a point that I was SURE that I could not hear the voice of the Lord because there was no way that I didn’t get ANY answers.
As I continued my walk with God, and became more focused, I realized that I wanted God to answer me in MY timing. I wanted to know thinking that it would give my life more purpose and meaning only to start to realize that it was in me the whole time either way. Whatever your purpose is in this world was well thought out and planned before any of us ever got here. It says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
God knows what He is doing and He doesn’t need any help from us. He knows when to do what and why He wants it done that way. He’s on my side but yet I found myself fighting against Him every corner I turned. It wasn’t even always a “I WANT IT NOW” spirit. Sometimes its a “I can’t do that” spirit, or a “I could never get that” spirit. It was defeat before I even tried to fight but it all stemmed back to not trusting God’s timing. That was the root. I didn’t see it so I didn’t believe it and so I actually LESSENED my chance of actually achieving it before I even tried.
Sometimes we’re bad enough. Sometimes the enemy doesn’t even need to plot and scheme because we will do all the sabotaging ourselves. I know I have sabotaged PLENTY! I don’t think I’ve really fully stopped yet, I’m working on it, pray for me. If you read my last post and my testimony then you know I told the Lord yes and doors opened up. The enemy tried to creep in there but the doors to my mind were ready to receive all the information to fight my battle at the time. I was listening to my Pastor last night and she had the verse that I didn’t even know I needed to pair with this.
Matthew 13:12 in the Message bible says: Whenever someone has a ready heart for this, the insights and understandings flow freely.
When I set in my heart that I wanted to be obedient, God trusted me with an assignment that was connected to my purpose that was obvious enough for me to connect the dots. All those times I prayed before, I wasn’t even ready for what I was asking for. I know for sure that I would have said no because even when the moment came I wanted to say no lol I should say my flesh wanted to say no but I couldn’t turn back. I wouldn’t.
After getting out of the hospital and truly going over the events with God, it was revealed to me fully that one of my gifts was a teacher. I said yes to one of my gifts that Sunday and didn’t even know it at the time. I have truly shed tears yall, about not knowing who I am and not being able to identify my gifts. My pastor was pulling on us about our gifts and I felt incomplete. I thought I was broken or something lol As I began to truly process the information, I started to think about what I really like to do. I love to get information and share it. I will give you a fun fact in a hot second. I love to figure things out and BREAK IT DOWN so somebody that doesn’t understand, can understand. All this time I was doing these things absent-mindedly, not even considering what that could be in the Kingdom of God. Whew, I cringe at how I been acting these past 27 years of life sometimes and I’m only 27 lol Not even THINKING about what God needed from me and then asking Him to reveal something I wasn’t going to allow myself to do.
My bible study teacher P Roz said one time that God reveals in what seems like a puzzle. He gives you one puzzle piece at a time until eventually you get all the pieces. If He gives you all the pieces at one time, you may not be able to handle it. You may not be ready and you’ll miss the bigger picture. I have the perfect example.
When I first started my job, I worked in the contact center department and it was so much info to take in that I had to teach myself a lot of it. The beauty in that is I had a method to everything. It was so strategic and simplified that I could show anybody how to work there lol I’m a ‘work smarter, not harder’ kind of person. I love new information so I was constantly gaining more knowledge. After about a year, I was chosen to be what was called a navigator. We basically took people that were still in training and let them listen to us take calls and we listened to them take calls and answered questions and gave feedback, my favorite things to do lol I loved every second of it. There was one girl in particular that I remembered. I created some type of bond with all of the ones I helped but she stayed in contact via IM until she branched out. That was 2017, fast forward to 2020 at my best friend’s birthday dinner, that same girl is friends with my best friend and we are sitting at the same table. I didn’t remember her by face but she recognized me. I wasn’t ready yet. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, me and my best friend were on the phone and I was sharing my new info with her and she says that triggered something she had to tell me. That same girl told her that weekend before that she graduated from a program that would qualify her for any job she wanted in the company and she thanked her experience with me in training as her navigator. I immediately starting crying because that was my confirmation from God. That next day, I went back to something she wrote me in 2017 and started crying again lol She said that she would like to take the time out to let me know that I was by far her best navigator and that the criticism I gave her has shaped the way she would move on in her career at our company. She also called me an outstanding teacher. August 8th, 2017. I never viewed myself that way, I was just being Larricka. Do you have anything you love to do that you think you’re just doing you?
If she would have come up to me at that birthday dinner and said that I was an outstanding teacher, it would have been flesh appreciation and that was it. It wouldn’t have meant as much. I wasn’t ready. She could have came up to me and said God told me to tell you that you have the gift of teaching, I would have outwardly thanked her and inwardly disregarded her. That’s the ugly truth. My heart wasn’t ready to receive any of the things I was begging God for. My Pastor taught a lesson called LET HIM DO IT! You don’t have to beg God. When God calls your gift forward, IT MUST COME FORWARD but don’t for a second think He hasn’t prepared you for that moment, if you’re willing. Don’t think that’s the moment that He’s going to leave you to figure it out. I honestly thought saying yes meant, BOOM I’M READY FOR A MAJOR ASSIGNMENT LORD, BRING IT ON. That was the OPPOSITE of what I was thinking, feeling, or wanted. So really I was begging God for something that I knew I wouldn’t do because I was scared. He knew that too lol I said yes and talked to my GPS bible study group like every other Tuesday but this time I read the Subject and Scripture from that Sunday. Physically nothing changed but mentally it was completely different. It was that simple.
Me to me: Slow down sometimes. Everything isn’t as difficult as you think. When you’re doing God’s work, He’s not only going to prepare you with everything He needs from you, He’ll also get you through it. God’s plan is the only plan that matters so just surrender, be obedient, and trust His timing!